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"How to Overcome Self-Pity While Increasing your Love &
Compassion"

(c)Colin G Smith - All Rights reserved
http://www.NLPToolBox.com
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Imagine what life would be like if you learned how to
utilise your self-pitying states of mind by transforming
them into powerful resources instead.

Could this be possible?

So called negative states of mind such as loneliness,
frustration and despair are neutralised, changed or
eliminated with many of the current psychological models.

While these methods can get useful results the whole picture
becomes more interesting when we consider what many
spiritual traditions have often claimed:

Our suffering actually contains within it an incredible
opportunity for growth!

The fact that we are deeply familiar with states of
suffering enables us to generate the most noble of virtuous
minds such as love and compassion.

What this implies is that with the correct know-how we can
replace our habitual patterns of self-pity with minds of
love and compassion.

The secret of this approach is actually really simple, yet
incredibly profound.

To experience a feeling of love/compassion rather than
retched self-pity we simply switch the object of cherishing.

With self-pity we are obsessively cherishing our self: eg)
"Poor me, me, me, I'm so lonely" etc.

If we were to switch the object of cherishing to another
person we have affection for, and who probably experiences
similar and worse feelings, it would enable us to generate a
feeling of compassion.

A much more positive state of mind!

Below then is a complete strategy for 're-programming' our
thought patterns.

A Strategy for Overcoming Self-pity

1. When you're feeling sorry for yourself what does that
feel like? Notice the negative feelings in your body.

2. As you experience those feelings what would you name
them? eg) loneliness, frustration, worthlessness

It's ok if you have no name for the feelings.

3. Imagine seeing yourself over there. Simply observe that
you suffering and allow a feeling of love and compassion to
arise.

Be gentle with yourself. Remember in essence we are pure,
virtually limitless, potential and the delusions and
problems we experience are like waves on an ocean. They are
impermanent. They cannot not change!

3. Now think of loved ones who probably experience similar
feelings and worse. (It's important that you actually choose
people you have an emotional connection with. Somebody
you're close too and have affection for.)

4. As you picture them in front, with that image of
yourself, notice the growing feeling of love & compassion
arising...

5. Breath with this feeling for a minute or three. You may
begin to notice how you soften. Enjoy the warmth and
softening of your heart centre.

Build Bridges of Love & Compassion into the Future

To get this new strategy "wired-in" so it becomes an
automatic habit we just need to do a few quick rehearsals in
our mind.

So think of situations in the future where it's likely you
would experience self-pity.

And notice what the first thing you would see or hear before
the feelings of self-pity start up?

As you allow those feelings to arise go through the
procedure from step 1.

Doing this rehearsal with a few situations, in different
contexts, will enable your unconscious to generalise the new
strategy.

What this means is that, in the future, as soon as feelings
of self-pity begin to arise in whatever context, the new
strategy will trigger and you will then have the freedom to
choose to experience feelings of love and compassion
instead.

The choice is now in your hands.

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Author Bio:
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-
Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP
ToolBox', a personal development book that enables the
reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed.
Complete information on Colin G Smith's books are available
at his website, including a FREE personal development mini-
course.
http://www.NLPToolBox.com
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